New Suit

Back in October, I went shopping for a new suit. I noticed that my favorite brand, Kenneth Cole, was on sale, half off. Fortune was favoring me.

I took one of the blazers off the rack and tried it on, but I needed the next size up. I slid the hangers back and forth, looking, but they didn't have a 48 Regular, so I grabbed the 46R and took it to the cashier to ask if they had one in the back.

When I handed her the coat, she narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips, and silently sized me up.
"You realize this suit is a slim?"

There was a pregnant silence. "Yes," I replied. "That's why I am asking for the next size up from my normal 46R … to balance out the difference."
She looked doubtful but turned to her computer and hit some keys. Nope, they didn't have that size.

So, I bought a Ralph Lauren instead. Classic fit - not slim.

Boom

It's the sound a bomb makes. It's also what I say when I hit "post" on these blog entries.

Echo 3

I usually think that American actors do very poor British/UK accents, while on the flip side, our British/UK friends do an amazing job playing American roles.

Watching Echo 3, I have discovered the exception to this rule. Luke Evans' southern accent is pretty miserable.

Tired

This was originally posted in September 2022, but remains applicable many days of the year.

I have been working most of my life. I started "real" jobs at age 11, paying taxes and social security – the whole bit – but even before that I was hustling for this and that.
 
During my K-5 years, I was always doing something for change. In our apartments you had to walk your trash a goodly distance over to communal dumpsters. I set up a deal with a bunch of tenants to carry their bags for them – a quarter a bag – starting around 2nd grade.
 
Around that same time, I would buy bags of candy at the store, load up my pockets every morning, then sell Jolly Ranchers to the other kids at twice the price. I did that for years. We weren't supposed to have candy in school, of course. In a way I was dealing drugs – the oh-so-addictive drug of sugar.
 
I collected aluminum cans. There was a stint selling newspapers at various grocery stores on the weekends, back when people bought newspapers from little kids in hats and aprons. Any time I passed a pay phone or soda machine I stuck my fingers in the change slot, always hopeful, and sometimes lucky.
 
I handed out flyers for a surf shop on the beach in exchange for t-shirts. One of the hotels in Galveston hired me as a "porter." That's service industry lingo for someone that carries bags and does chores at a hotel, though I have never heard the term used by anyone since then. My favorite thing at that job was cleaning the pool equipment and raising the flag.
 
I was a busboy for years in a restaurant then moved on to a grocery store where I picked up hours any way I could … cashier, stocker, floral, video department (we rented VHS tapes) – anything path that led to greenbacks.
 
While I was in the Air Force, I accumulated some debt and worked a 2nd job to pay it off – first as a gas station clerk, then later as a delivery guy for Papa John's. A couple of years later I tried to flesh out my writing and started working on novels. I managed to knock out a few books and that fulfilling in a way I can't truly express in words, as ironic as that might be.
 
For a year after I got out of the military, I was Mr. Mom. Drove kids to school, cleaned house, and continued writing. I subbed at the schools and volunteered.
 
Now I am at what might be my final job doing administrative work at a university. It's fun to me. Instead of writing, I have been designing book covers and logos in the evening. If you connect the dots, my interest in this started with my own book covers. It's a truly relaxing thing for me and I make some money, to boot.
 
But … and as they say, there is always a but … I'm tired. I feel this very deep exhaustion that goes way beyond taking a day off or sleeping late to recuperate. I have joked that it's long covid, and who knows, maybe it really is, but I don't think so because it's been building for some time.
 
Have you ever felt that way, dear reader?
 
Sincerely yours,
Mr. Tired

Looking Around

Have you ever looked around and considered the insanity of the things humans have created? The enormity? How it defies logic or imagination?

I'm talking about microwaves, airplanes, radios, skyscrapers, cell phones, computers, submarines, electric razors, all things electric, sunglasses, space shuttles, and a thousand other things we casually walk by and use every day without giving it a second thought. Yes, you can quote a text, or laws of physics, or whatever, as the reasoning of how it all came about, but how did we get from grunting to knowing how to leave Earth? Seems like utter lunacy. They'd have burned us at the stake 500 years ago for just a whisper of these things.

Upgrade by Blake Crouch

There are only a handful of authors whose writing has left me with a complete and profound sense of satisfaction. Blake Crouch is one of those authors, and his latest novel, Upgrade, might just be his best yet.

You may have heard of this obscure movie called Top Gun, and how in said movie, the most elite fighter pilots are sent to a special school so that they can become even more elite. The name of that school - wait for it - is Top Gun. The best of the best. The elite elite.

Seriously, though, I read a lot of good books. Some great books. And, then, there is this other level. Like being the Michael Jordan of authors or something.

I don’t usually think of it this way, but as I ponder, these are the ideals or components of a novel, that really drive what I think of it:

The Story
Characters
Writing Style
Research on Technical Aspects
Complexity of ideas or plot
Message for the Reader
The Ending

I’m probably what you’d call an “easy grader” when it comes to book reviews. It’s subjective, of course, but if the author crushes 2-3 of these categories, or if holistically I feel great after reading it, I usually give 5 stars. Writers are trying to earn a living, too, so I won’t nitpick … not too much.

This book aced all of those things. I felt a little stunned when I finished. Sure, as the cliche goes, I regretted that something so wonderful had to end. The story was fantastic. The complexity of Crouch’s ideas are unparalleled. The ending was perfect, which can really make or break a book.

But I also found myself wanting to be a better citizen. A better human. If you read anything political into that, you’re just wrong. Seems everyone makes everything political these days. This was just a damn fine book.

People who write up job postings...

Please stop saying you need an "innovative self-starter." Blah blah, so cliché. Let's focus on tangible skills.

 

 

Christmas Flash

It was Christmas Eve, and the air was filled with the excitement of the holiday season. As the family gathered around the tree to exchange gifts, they suddenly heard a knock on the door.

 

They hesitated, unsure of who could be visiting at such a late hour. But when they finally gathered the courage to answer the door, they found no one there.

 

Just as they were about to close the door and return to their celebration, they heard a faint voice whisper, "Merry Christmas."

They turned around to see a ghostly figure standing in the living room, its translucent body glowing in the soft light of the Christmas tree.

 

The family was startled, but the ghost merely smiled and waved before disappearing into the night. And as they finished opening their gifts, they couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and joy, knowing that the Christmas ghost had paid them a visit.

 

 

 

 

Haiku

 A Haiku inspired by Austin Traffic

Speeding down the road

Metal beasts roaring with power

Cars, our trusty steeds

Chuck and Sarah

When it comes to TV couples, Chuck Bartowski and Sarah Walker were one of the most awesome.
If you're unfamiliar with the names, they are characters from the television series "Chuck," which aired from 2007 to 2012.

In the show, Chuck is a computer geek who becomes the government's top asset in fighting global espionage after he downloads an entire server of classified information into his brain. Sarah is a CIA agent who is assigned to protect Chuck and help him use his newfound knowledge to save the world. She's his handler. As the show progresses, Chuck and Sarah develop a close relationship and eventually fall in love.

It's not necessarily an original trope, however, the show itself was unique. And awesome.

Many fans of the show believe that Chuck and Sarah were a great couple because of the strong chemistry between the true life actors, Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski, and the way that their characters' relationship developed over the course of the series paralleled their budding friendship in real life. They seemed to jibe, even with all of their quirks and flaws. And Chuck had plenty of quirks. But they were just freaking awesome.